Try a Little Tenderness

Try a Little Tenderness

 

Your little girl comes home from school and you can tell something is off.  She isn’t her bubbly, boisterous self.

Something is weighing her down.

You approach her gently and lovingly and eventually she feels ready to open up and share the heartbreak she faced today.

 

Pop Quiz: What do you do?

You can approach this delicate situation in one of two ways…

Version 1: You cross your arms and remind her that life isn’t fair. People are mean so she better thicken her skin in order to survive in this cruel, harsh, unfair world. Don’t forget to remind her that no matter how hard she tries, someone will be better than her. She can always do more to get ahead in this dog-eat-dog world.

**or**

Version 2: You embrace your little beloved girl and remind her that sometimes life isn’t fair and people can be mean, but it’s important to stay strong and true. You encourage her to be the shining light in a dark world because her spirit, full of love, can heal the hurting and fix the broken. Tell her you understand how hard it is in this sometimes cruel, harsh, unfair world, but all we can do is try our best from a place of understanding and love.

 

It’s way too easy to be your own worst critic.

When things don’t go right in your life, do you lay it on harsh like version 1, or do you gently speak to yourself like version 2?

I get it, the mean girl inner dialogue.

You hold yourself up to some crazy high standards. When things don’t pan out like you wanted or expected it’s not uncommon to beat yourself up for your shortcomings.

Don’t speak to yourself in such a way you would never, ever allow someone else to.

 

You always…

You’re such a…

Why can’t you ever…

 

Remember your inner child.

Speak to your inner self in a kind and loving manner.

What would you say to your child?

Your niece or nephew?

Your best friend?

Would you be hard with them, or would you be the picture of patience, compassion, and understanding?

Be generously patient, compassionate, and understanding with yourself.

When you feel bitterness and anger begin to set in when things don’t turn out how you expected, ask yourself, “What would I say to my loved one in this situation if they came to me for advice or understanding?”

Now be gracious with yourself.

You deserve to hear it too.

 

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

In my numerous years of working with stressed out people as a massage therapist, I noticed there are some pretty glaring blind spots when it comes to stress management.
An hour massage once per month is great….but it isn’t enough to help you restore relaxation and enjoy the health and wellness you crave.  That you deserve.
Too many people lack the necessary skills to bring calm back into their lives.
I used to be one such person too. Still am sometimes.
Join me from the trenches as we attempt to shine a light on the blind spots and bring some peace and calm into our crazy lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why You Have To Own Your Story

Why You Have To Own Your Story

 

 

We’ve taken “don’t air your dirty laundry” to a whole new level in our social media culture.

Not everyone is qualified to hear all the parts of your story, but living without truth and integrity can cause you to stay stuck in the areas of your life you wish to improve upon.

 

Authenticity and vulnerability are the keys to honesty. Silence and secrecy keep you stuck.

 

Be truthful.

Don’t broadcast a highlight reel when you feel like crying.

Likewise, don’t feel guilty if your life is great at present! Let us celebrate with you. Don’t squash your joy.

If you are struggling with something, own it.  Don’t plaster a fake smile on your face or publish a BS FB post.

Denying your feelings when things are tough typically keeps us from seeking the help or learning the skills we need to move forward.

 

It’s okay to not be okay. 

It’s also okay to be fantastic.

Let’s not feel guilty for either one!

Own your Truth. Represent yourself honestly.

Move through your challenges, and let’s dance bomb your successes!

 


 

In my numerous years of working with stressed out people as a massage therapist, I noticed there are some pretty glaring blind spots when it comes to stress management.

An hour massage once per month is great….but it isn’t enough to help you restore relaxation and enjoy the health and wellness you crave.  That you deserve.

Too many people lack the necessary skills to bring calm back into their lives.

I used to be one such person too. Still am sometimes.

Join me from the trenches as we attempt to shine a light on the blind spots and bring some peace and calm into our crazy lives.

 

 

Doormats Are Not Happy, Nor Healthy

Doormats Are Not Happy, Nor Healthy

Boundaries. Oh, Man!  Let’s talk about a tough topic.

If you want to ensure vital and vibrant health and happiness, you gotta understand what is important and valuable to you and protect those things fiercely.  That’s a boundary.

 

Have you every had someone come onto your property uninvited?

How about someone standing just a little too close to you?  Makes you mad and uncomfortable.

These are pretty easy to understand, your physical boundaries.

 

Boundaries have a funny way of getting fuzzy when it comes to your emotional and mental well-being.

Anyone with a meddlesome family member can speak to that.

These boundaries can be much more difficult to manage and protect because of a deep desire to not upset someone, even when they upset you.

Fuzzy boundaries can lead to emotional instability if you don’t figure out and protect yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Emotional instability and mental static can lead to some serious stress and overwhelm in your life.

If you want to live a vibrantly healthy and happy life, it’s important to maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships.

 

Signs of weak boundaries can include:

  • Abuse of any kind
  • Sacrificing your goals, dreams, or plans to make someone else happy
  • Blaming others for your emotional states, or for what happens in your life
  • Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings

Healthy Boundaries are critical for:

  • Being assertive
  • Meeting your own needs
  • Empowered ability to make healthy choices
  • Positive, healthy self-esteem

 

Sit down and figure out what is important and valuable to you.  Protect those things.  Don’t allow yourself to be a doormat to another person by keeping fuzzy and weak boundaries.

Draw your “property line” and stick a DO NOT ENTER sign on it.

Some people love to step over the line in the sand. They will speak to you or try certain shenanigans, physically/mentally/emotionally. Protect your space.

Likewise, honor and respect the boundaries of those around you.  Show them how it’s done by remaining calm and kind whenever boundaries are in question.

 


 

In my numerous years of working with stressed out people as a massage therapist, I noticed there are some pretty glaring blind spots when it comes to stress management.

An hour massage once per month is great….but it isn’t enough to help you restore relaxation and enjoy the health and wellness you crave.  That you deserve.

Too many people lack the necessary skills to bring calm back into their lives.

I used to be one such person too. Still am sometimes.

Join me from the trenches as we attempt to shine a light on the blind spots and bring some peace and calm into out crazy lives.